To Organise

When I come home from work, at precisely seven in the evening, I have to walk down this particular street to get to where I want to be. It’s not an unusual street and I’m not an unusual person, and I suppose, looking at it, none of the people here are unusual either. Familiarity makes it so, and indeed, to the stranger things would appear strange, so there’s nothing so very much out of the ordinary with that. I consider it a great advantage that one can get used to anything…a strange saying, come to think of it; ‘used to’, and not ‘used by’. Anyroad, others of my type walk along different roads from the same office, proceeding outwards from the central point, each residing equidistant from our headquarters, and we sweep along these routes at the same hours each day, following shift-patterns to create an impression of regularity and familiarity. The uniform of my type makes it so. The uniform helps to regulate those who recognise the uniform, and the regularity with which the uniform is seen on each of these inroads modulates the behaviours and appearances of those observing the daily pattern.

I was given a transfer from Dorking branch to this central office due to my diligence in observing the daily pattern. Opportunities such as these are few, and competition to be transferred is very vigorous. Bribery is not unheard-of; it is in fact mandatory. Almost my entire monthly wage is spent on bribes of one kind or another, and the Department is now able to deduct bribes direct from the monthly salary, (which is an improvement over the system that preceded it wherein the better part of one’s working day was spent queuing to pay one’s bribes at the payments window on the seventh-floor, often involving bribing those in front of you in the queue to let you go first. This process could take days at a time.) Recent cuts in the salary however, coupled with the increasing cost of bribery has led to the entire staff of my department running a great debt to The Organisation and it has been speculated that the staff will send The Organisation into receivership over unpaid bribes. It is now widely considered that The Organisation does its staff a humanitarian service by continuing to employ us, (which creates a great sense of duty amongst employees,) and a special system has been organised wherein employees may go and apologise to the Departmental Director for continuing to be employed, sometimes even paying a bribe in order to be given audience by the Executive Board to make direct apologies there. Such high-level apologising can open doors for the average employee.

The charitable work done by The Organisation has been recognised at the highest levels of government and now receives relief in the form of large subsidies. This in turn has led to an increase in public taxation and a reduction in benefit welfare schemes. It has therefore become increasingly important that the uniform is seen on every street at the crucial routine hours in order to remind those members of the public not currently employed [by The Organisation] of the great obligation owed to those making huge sacrifices on their behalf; for they are ultimately the benefactors of our industriousness. The very foundation of our state depends on such selfless acts of public beneficence which trickles-down from the highest strata, (the most selfless being in the highest positions, naturally,) through the administrative quarters down to the very lowest employees, then finally out onto the streets where it learns the form of Duty. The production and maintenance of The Ordinary is the chief Duty of our Organisation.

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